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"Go on, Van Helsing, make my night!"

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Out To Lurch

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Trilby - Finis

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

The lonely figure

Bram Stoker

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

The Pride of Frankenstein

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Pass the SPF 20,000

Poems to Spookify

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

The ghost's walk

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'

"What an IDIOT!! He's got the wrong type of 'steak'..! But I'll play along for the moment..."

Trilby - 'Out of the mysterious East'.

"You're still in bed?"

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'