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"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Trilby - Finis

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

The lonely figure

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Vampire Umbrella

The Pride of Frankenstein

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

Pass the SPF 20,000

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

The Raven - The Study at Night

Poems to Spookify

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

Trilby - 'Les glougloux du vin a quat' sous...'

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

Trilby - 'Out of the mysterious East'.

"Ooh! Bummer!"

"You're still in bed?"