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"Well, it works for Susan Sontag."

The Raven - The Study at Night

'Okay, so I'm not paranoid. Everyone is out to get me!'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

The lonely figure

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

The Pride of Frankenstein

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Poems to Spookify

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Pass the SPF 20,000

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

The ghost's walk

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'