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Pass the SPF 20,000

Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Giant Monster in Bath

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

The lonely figure

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

The Pride of Frankenstein

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

The Raven - The Study at Night

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

Poems to Spookify

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

Vampire afternoon tea.

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'

Trilby - 'Les glougloux du vin a quat' sous...'

"I kind of miss the pendulum."

"What an IDIOT!! He's got the wrong type of 'steak'..! But I'll play along for the moment..."

Trilby - 'Voila l'espayce de hom ker jer swee!'

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

'Her first telekinesis!'

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

The ghost's walk