Gothic Literature Enthusiasts Gifts

Pass the SPF 20,000

Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Giant Monster in Bath

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

The lonely figure

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

The Pride of Frankenstein

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Vampire afternoon tea.

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

Poems to Spookify

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

The Raven - The Study at Night

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

'Her first telekinesis!'

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

"I kind of miss the pendulum."

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

"You're still in bed?"

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

Trilby - 'Voila l'espayce de hom ker jer swee!'

"What an IDIOT!! He's got the wrong type of 'steak'..! But I'll play along for the moment..."