Gothic Humorist Pillows

''Bye, honey...Go out there and knock 'em dead today!'

Dracula faces firing squad.

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'

"I'm being drained."

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

Soup of the Night

Do Not Disturb!

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Off-duty Grim Reaper answers the door to another Grim Reaper: 'Uh-oh, this doesn't look good.'

Woman reading 'Dark Satanic Mills and Boon' novel

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

'You know better than to play with wooden stakes!'

"Gimme a break will ya! It's not even mine!"

'Dracula, I'm getting tired of you sitting around all day.'

"....and hold the garlic."

"Jekyll & Heidi"

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

"Are there space-babes?"