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Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

"Here we are."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Giant Monster in Bath

Trilby - Finis

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

The bridge of arts.

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

Bram Stoker

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

Get Your Shot

Drunk Vampire

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Transylvanian Snails.

Vampire Umbrella

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Trilby - Sandy McAllister,'The Laird of Cockpen'.

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Trilby - The flexible flageolet

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

"You came from Europe, didn't you? I'll bet this is metric."

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

''Fancy a quick pint?'

Vampire afternoon tea.

The Wackoman (Heat it).

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

Vampire practical jokes.

"When I was young I had to walk 100 miles for a charge. . ."

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.