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Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

"Here we are."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

Giant Monster in Bath

Trilby - Finis

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

The bridge of arts.

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

Vampire Umbrella

Get Your Shot

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Trilby - Sandy McAllister,'The Laird of Cockpen'.

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Drunk Vampire

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

Transylvanian Snails.

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

Vampire afternoon tea.

''Fancy a quick pint?'

Trilby - The flexible flageolet

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

Vampire practical jokes.

"When I was young I had to walk 100 miles for a charge. . ."

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees