Gothic Art Collector T-Shirts

"You've got a face that sinks a thousand ships!"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Use your imagination.

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Zombies.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Art Gallery.

"He's an abstract artist."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"I read 'Art News.'"

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'