Goth Aficionado Gifts

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"To be honest, I thought anarchy would be a lot more fun than it is."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Well, Count, they look good for another five-hundred years."

Death Coach

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"He's gone goth"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Tim Burton

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

The Raven in Flight

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

Vincent Van Goth.

"Well at least nobody notices we don't go out much anymore."

Grim's Fairytales

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"No monster, when I said 'lend me a hand'..."

"For goddness' sake, Poe - let the bird in so we can all get some sleep!"

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'