Gossip Humorist Pillows

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'She's so put together!'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

A little bird told me...

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Men gossiping

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'