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Joan Hickson

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'I got my grant to study why the word 'COOL' persists generation after generation'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"It's got my current Wordle winning streak on it."

"I write these in my manager's handwriting, so no one will hate me."

'You forgot you list of possible side-effects.'

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

'Let's go over it again: the cat is out cold, and the only clue is a little wet castle...'

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"That's more like it!"

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

"Do you have a few unsubstantiated claims I can borrow?"

'I see you have some blended content. Some of it's tue, some of it's false.'

Top Secret

Subtitle Guessing

Mental Breakdown

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"Research tells me they found your DNA in the suggestion box."