Good Times Advocate Pillows

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

Santa Claus's Mail

Oligarchy

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Joe Biden

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'Sorry, but we need someone willing to evolve.'

"Management don't really want to commit to the next 'best thing' until the current 'best thing is last years 'best thing'."

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

"We interrupt this special bulletin about Ferguson and Tulsa, to bring you a special bulletin about Baltimore..."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

Progress.

'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'teenage thus run rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on...'

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated..."

Changes in the economic policy of the state.

Your proposal is bold and innovative but we are a traditional corporation. I would prefer changes like the ones we've tried before

One after another

'There's always optimism with new management.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Are you carrying any food, plants or dangerous ideas about a more equitable health care system?"

Refugees Crisis

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

Journalist in jail

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

"There are rumours going round that you have a home lift."