Good Times Advocate Gifts

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

Santa Claus's Mail

Oligarchy

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

Joe Biden

'Sorry, but we need someone willing to evolve.'

"We interrupt this special bulletin about Ferguson and Tulsa, to bring you a special bulletin about Baltimore..."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

"Management don't really want to commit to the next 'best thing' until the current 'best thing is last years 'best thing'."

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

Changes in the economic policy of the state.

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated..."

'Right...so that's pages 1-6 on 'teenage thus run rampage', 7-9 on 'man sued £25,000 for cleaning neighbours path', the middle spread on...'

Never on Sunday

Progress.

Your proposal is bold and innovative but we are a traditional corporation. I would prefer changes like the ones we've tried before

One after another

"Are you carrying any food, plants or dangerous ideas about a more equitable health care system?"

What's Better? A Bunch of Establishmentarian Congresswomen or One Progressive WASP?

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

Refugees Crisis

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

'There's always optimism with new management.'

'But I feel quite healthy.'

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

Journalist in jail

"Our state made the list for being on the most lists."

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'