Good-time Giver Pillows

'I came in here to forget something. Now I can't remember what it was.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Birthday Racing Car

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

Thank you

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

Seasonal shopping.