Good-time Giver Gifts

'I came in here to forget something. Now I can't remember what it was.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

Thank you

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

Santa's Out Tray.

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'