Feel-good Giver Pillows

'This isn't rocket science, Chuck. You donate $1,000 to a charity. You feel good. That's it.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

Birthday Racing Car

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Woman carrying a love heart

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

Seasonal shopping.

The first birthday gift.