Good Luck Guru Pillows

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

National Academy of Sport

Keep Fit.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Congratulations on the new you!

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'And right here they merged...'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'Have you been working out?'