Good Boy Seeker Pillows

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Cling-On Dog

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

Do not disturb...

My Knight in shining Armour.

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Little boys

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

"You're stealing the blanket."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

Best Pals

"Now I'm well, I miss my doctor."