Good Boy Appreciator Pillows

"I'd like to help him, but honestly I have no idea who the good boy is."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

Baby on board 2020

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"I've got pride but no shame."

"Finally, it's Spring! I missed you! Let's go and play!"

Self-Esteem Clinic.

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

'Hey, scratch my back and I'll scratch your back.'

'S**t!'

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

"Do we have any candy?"

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

'You guys are real friends!'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."