Golf Rules Guru Pillows

'Get down on the ground!! DOWN ON THE GROUND!!'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

No-Work Orange

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

It can be taken up at any age....

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Goalkeeper

Golf lessons

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'He lived and died for golf.'

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Are you blind ref?'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

Largest Divot Trophy.

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'I like to stay connected 247.'