Golf Strategy Guru Pillows

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

No-Work Orange

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

It can be taken up at any age....

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

Golf lessons

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Great Business Ideas - Musk Twitter X

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Anyone can dream the impossible dream. We need to sell the impossible dream."

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'We have to plan for the future. It will take us a generation to get out of debt.'

'As all coherent strategy has failed, we turn to you.'

Largest Divot Trophy.

"They said it couldn't be done. I suppose we should have listened to our lawyers."