Golfing Gurus Pillows

"I feel like we have so much in common!"

'You've heard of Tiger, Bear and Shark...... meet the snail!'

'Use the four wood!'

Golfing Fakir.

101 uses of a dead cat: golf cart.

'Remember 'be the ball'.' 'I am the ball. But apparently, I'm a devious, misguided, malevolent ball.'

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

No-Work Orange

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

I guess she had other plans for you.

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

It can be taken up at any age....

Golf lessons

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

'He lived and died for golf.'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

Largest Divot Trophy.

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'