Golf-loving Judge Gifts

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'Court's in recess!'

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."

That looks like a golf ball.

'...And because there are four basic steps to an appendectomy, we refer to it as a 'par four.''

"Who says I'm out of touch."

"RATS! Hooked it."

Sand Trap.

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Golfer watches alien space ship.

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

"Olaf has never been the same since we raided St. Andrews."

Valhalla Ryder Cup.

The Golfer Gardener

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'Doctor, this is not what I had in mind when you said you were going to put me on an Exercise program.'