Golf Hustler Gifts

Golfers with bumper sticker 'How do you like my DRIVING?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

"Better luck next time, kid."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

Runner going through hurdles.

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

Hole in forty-seven.

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

"I'll need a three iron."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

"Wider."

'You need to take one capsule a day as supplement. .. After you reach a certain income level, your body stops producing this stuff.'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

'Can you turn the game on? I need to know when halftime is over, so I can get back to play.'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting are the hardest.'

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

People dressed in green roll up the beach like a carpet

Man motivated by money, rabbit motivated by carrot.

'I'm pretty sure I�m seeing you due to bad nog, but as a struggling small business owner trying to keep costs down, I�m wondering if you'd deliver these bills on your rounds?'

Here's to all those poor souls in retail who have to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's so their employers can make a few crummy extra bucks..."

'Hard Day?'

Golfing Accident

"With baseball, college football and pro football overlapping, the excitement is too much form him to handle."

"I guess I shouldn't complain. At least he has steady work."