Golf Gossipers Gifts

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'He lived and died for golf.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Worst stand trap ever!'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

'I don't think of myself as a caddie, I provide technical support for golfers.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

'Don't leave me, Mary! You know my whole world revolves around you!'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

'Good shot!'

Golf Crime Scene.

Red Indian carrying a baby in golf bag.

'Careful... She thinks you're trying to steal her eggs!'

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

"Boss, I can't make it in. I'm feeling way under par this morning."

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Mr. Crenshaw gave up Sunday golf to go to church.'

"Swallow another one, Pearson and you're fired."

''Stiff shaft', 'long and straight', 'up and in'...I thought you were talking about sex!'

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'

Who Designed This Course?