Golf Gossipers Gifts

'I said we were going to play a game of skins, not shirts and skins!'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

Dummies Books.

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'He lived and died for golf.'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

'Worst stand trap ever!'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'I don't think of myself as a caddie, I provide technical support for golfers.'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

'Don't leave me, Mary! You know my whole world revolves around you!'

Red Indian carrying a baby in golf bag.

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Golf Crime Scene.

'Good shot!'

'Careful... She thinks you're trying to steal her eggs!'

'Just stave them off! I'm putting for eagle.'

"Swallow another one, Pearson and you're fired."

"Boss, I can't make it in. I'm feeling way under par this morning."

''Stiff shaft', 'long and straight', 'up and in'...I thought you were talking about sex!'

"I lost count back there after your fifth stroke. How many did it take?"

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Mr. Crenshaw gave up Sunday golf to go to church.'

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'