Golf Genius Gifts

The Educated Golfer or The Instinctive Golfer

No-Work Orange

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

DumbbellsSmartbells.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

It can be taken up at any age....

Dummies Books.

Golf lessons

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

Bioengineering Lab, I put a little Dachshund DNA into a rabbit. Hare extensions!

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'ADN'

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Money Tree

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Okay. Tiger took care of golf. Serena did her part at Wimbeldon. That brings us to the final frontier... hockey.'

Largest Divot Trophy.

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.