Golf Gurus Gifts

"Go with two-iron, Kemosabe - distance in desert not what it seems."

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

'Wow. A hole in one.'

Golfer accidentally causes a plane crash.

"This is still just a game to you, right?"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

No-Work Orange

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

I guess she had other plans for you.

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

It can be taken up at any age....

Dummies Books.

Golf lessons

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'He lived and died for golf.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

Cat plays a golf shot from a litter box.

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"Oh no, it's gone in that silly little hole again."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Okay. Tiger took care of golf. Serena did her part at Wimbeldon. That brings us to the final frontier... hockey.'

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'