Golf Etiquette Buff Gifts

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

'I hope you replace your divots.'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'May I play through please?'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

'Wait a minute...did you just double-dip?'

"Swallow another one, Pearson and you're fired."

It is important that the aspiring golfer learns the meaning of certain golfing terms, so that he can understand what his fellow sportsmen are saying to him.

'Bobby, I'll need the 12 gauge for this shot.'

"Hoo-whee! Nice shot, Tom. You just missed the trap."

'This is the hole I was telling you about!'

'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'

'I know I'd be a better putter if I could see the ball!'

'Let him play thru, Harry.'

'Bunker? It should be called a trench because that's where the real war starts!'

'Lunge out of the water and slap his face!? ... Oh, that's real effective, Leonard.'

His text said, I challenge you to pistols at dawn, and I replied, C U there, and he replied with a thumbs-up emoji – Do I have to reply to that?

'Richard, control yourself! You're swirling counter-clockwise in public!'

"Okay kids, go wash up. Dinner is ready."

"If you want to do that in the yard, fine, but in here I am not making eye contact with you."

'Thanks to everyone who golfed in my golfing outing...even the guys who beat me for hitting into them without yelling four.'

"I missed a hole in one by just 5 strokes!"

'Sorry about that. Put my golf gloves on by mistake'

'Arnold became suspicious when Bessie kept hitting balls into the tall grass.'

"We've only just met. I don't think it would appropriate for you to stay the night."

Please wipe your big feet.

"Rule number one, never laugh!"

'I said we were going to play a game of skins, not shirts and skins!'

'Gesundheit.'

'I take it you two have met?'

Sisyphus Golf Ball