Golf Course Socialite Gifts

'Another good thing to remember, don't talk when he's trying to hit the ball.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'