Golden Age Gladiator Gifts

'We'll show these kids we're not scared of 'em George...We're going over the top!'

Prize vegetables.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"I feel your pain."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

I'm Spartacus.

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Punishment for the kicker.

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

Human males marking territory.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Waiting for the results.

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.