Geriatric Gladiator Gifts

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

Prize vegetables.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"I feel your pain."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

I'm Spartacus.

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

Football.

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Punishment for the kicker.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Human males marking territory.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Waiting for the results.

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"