Gold Gatherer Gifts

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

'Don't Think' Sign in Bank Vault

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Barbecue

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Grocery Shopping

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

'It's called the iBarrow. It's a wheelbarrow to carry all your chargers around.'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'We seem to have more money for little luxuries since Timothy started working from home.'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

How to find gold.

"...These are chicken nuggets."

'Stocks and bonds dropped...on news that 'all that glitters is not gold'.'

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"