Gold Buyer Gifts

"We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a prfit on their buy and sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor."

Selling lemon latt�

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

Gold Crisis

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'To tell you the truth, you've ruined the gold market, Mr Midas!'

"You idiot! I said, 'Buy more gold', not mold!!"

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

Pick Me Ups.

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

High end of the market...

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

Salesman given 10 minutes under extreme pressure to sell to buyer

"Let's get to work, there's gold in them there hills."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"If there are nuggets in the sluice, let's dine out tonight."

Daley Thompson

'This is such an appropriate way for us to celebrate our GOLDEN wedding anniversary."

Think Small.

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"