Gold Gifts

'What's gold doing now'

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"Bang!"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'