Gold Alchemy Dreamer T-Shirts

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Here be dragons.

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo.

"Like that?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

Dragon and Dragoff

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"