Going To Trial Pillows

"Remember we're selling the jury both credibility and plausibility."

Trial by Media

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"You can't plead cute."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'