Godmother Gifts

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Don't just stand there, Mum - Your admiral has lost the soap!'

'Ma'am, your account at the sperm bank is overdrawn.'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Butterfly Woman

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Just be yourself."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

Gender Equality

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"