Godly Gatherings Aficionado Gifts

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Hymns - Optional Extras

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Pope Francis

"You remember Champ. . ."

Vicar

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

SOARING BILL

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

'I'm pleased to see my flock ignoring E.U. health and safety regulations!'

Please follow safe worship practices.

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Peter makes another attempt to go to Jesus.

"The trustees feel the Reverend Dr. Clapsattle does not harmonize with the edifice."