Godlike Wit Pillows

Bob would go to any lengths to avoid public speaking.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Divine Desk Bins

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'Are they fresh?'

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

'And look what happened when I turn the tablet sideways - the text swivels the right way up.'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"Of course - I believe in the Great Spin Doctor in the sky!"

"So how come you never sent them a 'common-sense' pandemic."

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

'You're not going to like this - just learned you're being sued for corn seed patent infringement.'

The Zeusettes

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

"I'm sick of these bugs"

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

"Don't make me come down there!"

"I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here."

"It feels like God has sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done."

Universal's Sudoku.

24/7 th Heaven

"First I was prematurely gray. Now I'm prematurely dead."

"Do you smell something burning?"

It must have cost the earth.

"If you're so good, why can't you ever strike twice in the same place?"

'Relax. They hired me for my people skills.'

'Fine. You can have music. I'll be the god of ... of ... speedy delivery! I will be The Fleet-Footed Messenger of the Gods.'

Jupiter

"I'm sorry, God! We don't allow all-knowing people at our roulette tables."

'You'd feel paranoid too, if you were a martyr!'