Godlike Wit Prints

Bob would go to any lengths to avoid public speaking.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Divine Desk Bins

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'Are they fresh?'

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

'And look what happened when I turn the tablet sideways - the text swivels the right way up.'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"Of course - I believe in the Great Spin Doctor in the sky!"

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

"So how come you never sent them a 'common-sense' pandemic."

'You're not going to like this - just learned you're being sued for corn seed patent infringement.'

The Zeusettes

"My name is Bacchus, Roman God of Wine ... and I'm an alcoholic."

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

Latte Day Saints

"I'm sick of these bugs"

"Don't make me come down there!"

"It feels like God has sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done."

"I hope you're not a lawyer or a politician. We're trying to diversify down here."

Universal's Sudoku.

'What wine goes with eternity?'

It must have cost the earth.

'Relax. They hired me for my people skills.'

"First I was prematurely gray. Now I'm prematurely dead."

"If you're so good, why can't you ever strike twice in the same place?"

"Do you smell something burning?"

24/7 th Heaven

'Fine. You can have music. I'll be the god of ... of ... speedy delivery! I will be The Fleet-Footed Messenger of the Gods.'

"I'm sorry, God! We don't allow all-knowing people at our roulette tables."

'You'd feel paranoid too, if you were a martyr!'