Godlike Gift Giver Pillows

'Eve is a nice addition, except you inadvertently created a lot of sexual tension.'

Grace For Flies

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'They're dog roses!'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

Christmas Presents.

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

Birthday Racing Car

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

Saying Grace.

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

It's the thought that counts!