Gift Giver Guru Pillows

'Honey, I really think last year's very generous Christmas gift absolves me from saying hi each time he delivers the mail.'

Beach con-man.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Santa called but you were out!

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

Birthday Racing Car

Valentines Balloons

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'And that,and that,and that...'

Regifts of the Magi

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

Valentines Day truck

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

A feminist Christmas.