Ghoulish Gift Giver Pillows

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

celebrating a birth.

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

Christmas Presents.

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Santa called but you were out!

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

Birthday Racing Car

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

Valentines Balloons

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'And that,and that,and that...'

Regifts of the Magi

Valentines Day truck

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'