Ghoulish Gift Giver Pillows

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

celebrating a birth.

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

Christmas Presents.

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Santa called but you were out!

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

Birthday Racing Car

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Valentines Balloons

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'And that,and that,and that...'

Regifts of the Magi

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

Valentines Day truck

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'