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"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"She's been so creative lately."

'The child is very illogical'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Coping with a strong-willed child

Children's artwork exhibition.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games