Godfather T-Shirts

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Sandcastles

The Bloomsbury Christening

'Everyone avoids Griswold during girl scout cookie season. He has four daughters.'

'You're not creating another thing till you've tidied your room!'

'Wait a second This isn't our dad'

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"I'm your fairy god-padrino."

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Bond James, Bond."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Louis Armstrong

Prize vegetables.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Killer Executive Suits.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."