Gobble Gourmet Gifts

"Actually, I was pardoned by the President ... the president of Cartoonists Guild."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

Keith Floyd.

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."