Goal Scoring Giggles Pillows

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Punishment for the kicker.

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Ryan Giggs

Hockey Goal

'If you think men don't know how to show emotion - just wait until one of them scores...'

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

Stretcher Header.

Football crowd cheer when goalie makes a save.

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

"He should've passed the puck."

James Ward-Prowse

'Want a good full back?'

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

"Lady!!! Could we turn down the A.C.?!"

'Why didn't he stop the ball?'

David Beckham

'You are leading a double life, that'll be extra.'

Small child in goal is propelled into the air with burst football

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'Your goalie is out with the flu, I'm a temp, ,,, So, what's the object of this little game'

'OK. Let's see your slapshot.'

"Income tax has created more liars than golf and porn put together."

Sepp fashions the new FIFA strip....

Angel Delight

Football ground toilets include one for mascots.

'And there's the horn to end the first half...'