Goal-line Technology Geek Gifts

"The Scottish Premier is to start using goal-line technology similar to the 'Hawkeye' system currently used in the premier league. It's expected 'Och-Aye' will be installed at all grounds in time for next season."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

'Are you blind ref?'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

'You see a bunny, I see an off-site system maintained by a 3rd party providing storage, processing power and computer applications.'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

Wild West Text Showdown

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

"We thought we could put in the details later."

Referee's Free Kick Pack

Future robots can do all the things we put off until tomorrow.

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"What I like about booze is that it's so low tech."

'I guess there'll always be a gap between science and technology.'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

'Man, look at these young guys! This 'wheel' thing is making them all soft. Next, they'll be using animals to pull themselves around!'

Amish personal mobility scooter

"Where are you flying to?"

Mohamed Salah

"In the olden days, these things were used to store your contact details."

The meaning of life? Sure --- wait a minute and I'll Google it.

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

Karim Benzema

'Shut up. You're the one who forgot to pay the electric bill.'

"He was gold prospecting, but since he dropped his phone in the water, he's now phone prospecting."

"He must be one of those new contactless contact lenses."

Fernando Torres

"Yes, but why do me want cookie?"

"Where's my jet pack? They promised us jet packs."

'Settings> thought store> offload random fears > upload to dreamcloud

If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body. That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000. Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he's concerned about his mortality. You answer should have been nothing. That alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy. I think I'd rather wait for the 7000-S. Stop it.

Witch updates travel broom.

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."