Glove Gourmet Gifts

Boxer with a pizza

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

To do before Saturday...

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Kitchen Kapers

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Too much cilantro

The Main Types of Cheese

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Holiday Supplies

'Is this still America?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Cheese

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Keith Floyd.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"The bagels are better in New York."

'Cooking'