Globe-trotting Vet Gifts

'A man called about a 'cow down in the Sudan...'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"It hurts when I warble."

'If this is a non-stop flight, how do we get off?'

"Please remember to check for any personal problems you may have left behind."

Tourist

'We don't have a GPS or any maps, so this is the best I could do.'

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

"Doctor Finkelstein is here to ensure you're not carrying any excess emotional baggage on board."

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

'Second rumenotomy on that danged cow this year, Doc....'

'Luggage is luggage, sir -- just try to be happy with what you've got.'

Thousands of customers stranded when major travel firm goes out of business.

"The reason why U.S. time is behind English time is because England was discovered first..."

'A cruise by air, sir, is called a 'tour'.'

An Easter Island statue with a camera (showing how tourism affects the destinations of the tourists).

The world toilet.

"I thought that we were going to eat something exotic tonight - not just a traditional English meal."

'I like to relax before my business flights.'

"My job traveled abroad, so I can't."

'We had an all-inclusive-holiday. Bad weather, lousy food, arrogant waiters, crappy hotel and outrageous prices - all that was included.'

Bogga Springs - Twinned with Geneva

'Yes, our cruises allow travellers to choose from several viruses...I mean, ports of call.'

Two men with different globes, modern man is running on the globe.

"That's what comes from being a multinational. The company picnic will be in Terra del Fuego."

'Not only has my luggage been to more places than I have, it's stayed longer in some places.'